Catch me at the Shore???
IT'S SUMMER BREAK BABYYYYYY!
Editors Note, June 15, 2026: Accidentally published this on my Torre Studio account first, where for some reason I decided to name myself “Maifreda.”
You will (I am almost certain) not find me at the Jersey Shore this summer. However, call it June 2012, and I’m sixteen, bored as hell, following my parents around, and you just might have.
There’s a few very important, and potentially at first blush, uninteresting, points to make about the Jersey shore for non-Delaware/PA readers. First, in the summer in Delaware, you either go to Delaware beaches or south Jersey beaches. And there’s a big fucking difference. From 8yrs old to 13 years old when I went to a downtown Wilmington Catholic school, I went to the Delaware beach and stayed at my childhood bestie/nemesis’ beach house in Dewey. Then, when I switched to a Catholic school closer to the PA border, I started going to the Jersey shore. The cultural divide spans 20 minutes of I-95.
Second, when I’m talking about the Jersey shore, I’m talking about Stone Harbor, Avalon, Wildwood, Cape May - Philly shore. There’s a whole northern Jersey shore thing for those who talk about “growing up near New York City,” and I don’t have a clue about it.
Third, Delaware beach or Jersey shore aside, if you’re tan, blonde, skinny, Catholic, and a b**ch, you’re at the beach in the summer. I was only 2 of these things, and let’s just say I’m a brunette, do tarot and wear a size XL.
So, all this about the Jersey Shore to say: Welcome to My Summer Break from Grad School and a Welcome back to Chewing Chewing!!!
I missed writing to you guys.
Grad school was a lot of work, and I was honestly busting out papers kind of often that made me not really want to write too much in my free time. My year was powered by neighborhood Thai deals, $3 Peet’s daily drip (#nepotism), and a lot of savory oatmeal (oatmeal, oregano, olive oil, salt).
A few weeks ago, I was on week 7 of 10, and fiening to be D-O-N-E with first year. My friend Hallie calls me and says, “Wanna go to the beach?”
Oh hellllllll yea. Summer starts NOW, mofos!!!
We’re listing the things we need to pack, towel, sunscreen, shades…
“What should we bring for lunch? Wanna get Jersey Mike’s?”
I’m sorry… Jersey Mike’s? You’re talking about the random sub place next to Jamba Juice and Ralph’s in the shopping center across from my apartment?
I had a kind of anxious weekend, so my food-perfectionist guard was down. “Sure,” I said. “Let’s get Jersey Mike’s.”
I skipped quickly past the inside of the Jersey Mike’s. It’s bleak with faded sepia and black/white photos of the Jersey Shore and AI-like graphic signs that urge visitors to get their sandwich “Mike’s Way”. The entire experience of Jersey Mike’s is one Jersey Shore fantasy/memorabilia/appropriation. You ever wanted to talk like you’re in the mob and little Gionny did something he shouldn’t have?!?! So does Jersey Mike.
You can get hot sandwiches here, but I don’t know why you would. The Jersey experience is all about the hoagie - a cold sandwich made of deli meat, sometimes cheese, personally selected vegetables, and personally selected condiments, served on Italian bread. DE/PA/NJ folks get partiiiiiicular about their hoagie order. Old Bay on top? Extra oil and vinegar? Does Tuna Salad count as a hoagie order? How fresh is the bread??? In high school, I used to add spinach and cucumbers to my Wawa order and order it on wheat bread. Something about all Catholic school girls having an ED or something…
Jersey Mike’s makes it’s pretty easy for you non-east coasters to get a decent hoagie. I stuck with “The Jersey Shore Favorite,” with ham, capicola, and provolone, since their other options just kept including more and more meats like “proscuittini,” which I have never had and will not be trying for the first time at Jersey Mike’s.
Ordering was a breeze. #2 Jersey Shore Favorite, Mike’s Way - lettuce, tomato, onion, “Spices” (oregano, black pepper, salt), and “The Juice” (red wine vinegar and oil - on regular Italian bread. They made it for me right on the spot à la Subway (sorry, I doubt Jersey Mike’s wants the comp but if they keep selling sandwiches like “The Big Kahuna Chicken Cheese Steak, then…)
Having gone on a 1hr drive with us to La Piedra, I was impressed that the sandwich held up alright and honestly, hit the spot! The meat was sliced nice and thin. The bread was a bit soggy at the edges from sitting in the vinegar/oil for the drive. The lettuce was floppy and squishy. The tomatoes, flavorless. But, truthfully, the Jersey Mike’s hoagie is a story about a rag tag group of ingredients that when put together, perform greater than sum of their parts. There’s no Jalen Brunson, but there’s a few Mitchell Robinsons ready to get the job done when KAT gets like five fouls in the first quarter (#KnicksinFive).
When writing this and reflecting on the obsession with the Jersey Shore, I realize it’s quite simple. Days at the shore are made up spending time outside in the sun, with nothing to do, listening to the waves crash, reading a fun book, gossing with a friend, or playing games with some of your favorite people.
As a lonely teenager, who didn’t feel connected with most of the people I grew up with, the Jersey Shore felt like the epitome of everything I wanted to get the f* away from. ~ “I dream of Paris, honey, not the Jersey Shore.” ~
But on this day in May, when Hallie whipped out some coconut-scented Sum Bum spray, and we were listening to Sheryl Crow, with a Bud Light in one hand, and a Jersey Mike’s in the other, I realized, just maybe, I’m living out the Jersey Shore fantasy my own way. Tanning at a SoCal beach, with a bestie and tarot deck next to me, and a freezing cold dip in the Pacific ahead of me.
The Jersey Shore is just a state of mind <3
<3
hungry